Super charge your manliness with the Bacon-Scented Mustache. The gosh darn thing smells like bacon. All the bacon. Maybe you aren’t man enough to even wear it! But wearing it will make you so manly that you won’t care.
This is the kind of thing that goes perfectly with woodworking, killing a snake with your bare hands or grilling a giant steak. It’s the only mustache that makes you hungry all day. It’s 4″ wide, which is enough to mask your pathetic, unmasculine, bare upper lip.