Super charge your manliness with the Bacon-Scented Mustache. The gosh darn thing smells like bacon. All the bacon. Maybe you aren’t man enough to even wear it! But wearing it will make you so manly that you won’t care.
This is the kind of thing that goes perfectly with woodworking, killing a snake with your bare hands or grilling a giant steak. It’s the only mustache that makes you hungry all day. It’s 4″ wide, which is enough to mask your pathetic, unmasculine, bare upper lip.
The future is here! We may not have our own jetpacks just yet, but we do have bacon-flavored carbonated candy that sizzles just like the real thing:
Sizzling Bacon Candy not only tastes like smokey bacon, it also turns your tongue into a frying pan. As soon as you douse your mouth in candy, the sizzling sound makes it seem like you’re cooking bacon over a campfire. Except it’s in your head and the campfire is your burning passion for bacon (and your saliva which is what activates the candy). Watch this video for a tantalizing demonstration:
Lots of things taste like bacon, but how many sound like bacon? Thanks to this breakthrough in confectionery science, life just got even better for bacon lovers everywhere.
Archie McPhee is attending the 2014 Emerald City Comicon and Mr. Bacon is coming with us. Stop by our booth and get your picture taken with Bigfoot:
AND get a free “I Saw Bigfoot at Archie McPhee” sticker:
ECCC takes place at the Washington State Convention Center starting Friday March 28th through Sunday March 30th. We’re in booth 2812 on the 3rd floor and we can’t wait to meet you. So, stop by, take a picture, buy a Unicorn Horn and grab some stickers!
There may not be any food that’s better than bacon, but did you know that it might also hold the key to longevity?
Pearl Cantrell of Richland Springs, Texas recently celebrated her 105th birthday. That’s an indisputably awesome accomplishment, but it gets better. When asked how she’s managed to live so long Pearl replied:
“I love bacon, I eat it everyday”, says Pearl, “I don’t feel as old as I am, that’s all I can say”, she explains.
Still feisty and full of life, Pearl has been through a lot, and has plenty of reasons to complain or even give up. After mothering seven children, outliving three of them, losing a husband, and enduring decades of physical labor, she still has a smile on her face.
“I would go to the field and work till dinner, then come home to fix dinner, then I would go back out to the field and work again until supper”, Pearl tells us.
But Pearl’s daughter, Anno, says complaining is the last thing you’ll ever hear her mother do. “She’s taught us to work hard and to get up every morning and think about living. She’s never thought about dying”, says Anno.
Pearl Cantrell, all of us here at Archie McPhee would like to wish you a belated Happy Birthday! We think you’re awesome and we’re glad you love bacon as much as we do.
Rachel Tepper from The Huffington Post recently sat down with our very own Shana Iverson, High Priestess of Rubber Chickens, to discuss a few of our favorite topics, Bacon, weird candy and other food-related products, and their ever-increasing popularity in popular culture.
In this episode of “Funny Or Not Funny” Gibson challenges Nai, our ultimate authority on what is and isn’t funny, to engage his nose and his taste buds while determining the funny factor on a variety of products.
We were on the Food Network last night! It was an episode of Unwrapped that focussed on, what else, Bacon! We got an interesting peek into their production process.
They filmed at our store over a year before the segment was shown on TV. If you look at the picture of the two adorable customers above, you’ll notice Bacon Pennants behind them which have been discontinued. Not only that, but the whole store moved from Ballard to Wallingford! You know, unimportant details like that.
They filmed for four hours to get the three minutes they ended up using. Shana’s greatest fear was realized. They used footage of her flossing with Bacon Floss in the finished story. I had never thought about it, but I guess it is unglamorous to floss on TV.
Our own Mr. Bacon has agreed to answer questions from readers of this blog. He not only has a lifetime’s worth of experiences and wisdom to pass along, but also the unique perspective that comes from being made of bacon. If you would like to ask Mr. Bacon a question email it to us and we’ll pass it along. You can also follow Mr. Bacon on Twitter.
Today’s question comes from Secret Life: Mr. Bacon, my family reunion is coming up and I have been less than honest with my family about what is going on in my life. Should I continue with the charade or come clean?
Dear Secret Life,
By all means, keep up the charade. Speaking of which, don’t you love the classic party game charades? I’ll never forget the time that my Uncle Prosciutto got so frustrated when we couldn’t decipher his pantomime that he just yelled out “I’m a muskox you nitwits!”
But seriously, if you really feel like you need to get the burden off your chest why don’t you just tell me? Admit it, you probably like my delicious cured meatiness more that you like your family anyway. Plus, if you tell me, I promise not to belittle, berate or disown you. That way you feel better, your family is spared the trauma and I continue to be delicious. Everyone wins!