We’ve only got eyes for Richard Simmons

Redditor mrpauloldham posted this picture of an unnamed and awesome friend of his exercising with Richard Simmons while he eats her ponytail. Of course, we couldn’t believe our eyes when we saw Richard’s outfit was made of Emergency Googly Eyes

We know beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but we’re sure you’ll see eye to eye with us on this one. That’s no eyesore, it’s one eye-catchingly awesome outfit. Richard Simmons is truly the king of exerceyes. (We apologize for this paragraph. We couldn’t resist.)

[via imgur and Rusty Blazenhoff]

Are you brave enough to eat from the Shark Bowl?

Just when you thought it was safe to eat a bowl of Cap’n Crunch…

With the Shark Bowl you can relive the thrills of Shark Week every day of the year. This porcelain Shark Bowl looks like every other bowl from a distance, but as you approach, you’ll see that it has an unstoppable killing machine poking its head out of that salsa. Use it for cereal, ice cream or even soup, but don’t take your eyes off that ferocious shark for a second.

Neighborhood Watch

neighborhood watch

A pair of our Giant Googly Eyes have been installed in front of a home in Snohomish County, Washington. They make a great addition to the town’s Neighborhood Watch group. Skulking scoundrels are sure to think twice about getting up to no good on a street where even the shrubbery is watching them.

Introducing Nihilist Toothpaste

No Flavor. No Color. Nothing.

We don’t believe in dental hygiene.

Nihilism is a philosophy defined by what it doesn’t believe. At its most extreme, Nihilists don’t believe in anything. So, when we decided to make toothpaste for nihilists, we decided that it shouldn’t taste like anything because they don’t believe in flavor. Brushing your teeth with Nihilist Toothpaste is really brushing them with a big dollop of reality. This is a perfect present for your favorite philosopher, a moody teenager or a fan of The Big Lebowski.

Nihilist Toothpaste – Toothpaste for those that believe in nothing.

Introducing the Fail Button

Our new Fail Button should always be kept nearby so you can joyfully celebrate the failure that surrounds you by playing the sound of the sad trombone.

Watch this commercial to see how it works:

It’s perfect for meetings at work and blind dates, but probably not good at funerals.

Introducing the Titanic Gravy Boat

There’s a stack of mashed potatoes off the port bow. Hard to starboard!

Since every holiday dinner is a disaster, you might as well use the Titanic Gravy Boat. The gravy pours through a hole in the hull!

The Titanic Gravy Boat brings one of the most famous maritime tragedies of all time to your dinner table. This ceramic representation of the Titanic is 9″ x 4-3/4″ and holds 16 fl. oz. of gravy which can be poured through the hole in the hull.

Also, it can be used to stage a historical reenactment if your relatives start talking politics. As soon as someone starts quoting radio show hosts, you just use mashed potatoes as the iceberg and peas as the life boats.

Archie McPhee snowflake by Kit Cameo

We love Kit Cameo‘s themed snowflakes so much we commissioned her to do an Archie McPhee snowflake:

As you can see, it’s utterly amazing. She worked in the Horse Mask, the Unicorn Mask, the Inflatable Unicorn Horn for Cats and Groucho Glasses.

In case you haven’t seen them before, here are her wonderful Cthulhu and Pirate snowflakes:

You can even pick a theme yourself and have her make one for you!

Thanks, Kit!

Inspiration à la Archie McPhee

We’ve been working on a series of Archie McPhee Inspiration Posters combining wise quotes with photos of people wearing our animal head masks.


(Featuring the Clumsy Cook Turkey Mask)


(Featuring the Chicken Head Mask)


(Featuring the Pigeon Mask)

And remember, if you have a photo of yourself or someone else wearing the Pigeon Mask, you can share it on our Pigeon Mask Blog by e-mailing the photo to unicorn@mcphee.com.

Caution: horses and unicorns at work

Here at Archie McPhee headquarters we’re currently having the floors redone with cork. It’s a pretty exciting development for the people who walk on those floors all the time, but the new flooring isn’t actually the best part of this project.

What’s really awesome is that members of the Floor Coverings International crew working on this job have been spotted wearing Horse Head Masks and Magical Unicorn Masks:

Here’s an industry secret: After a Unicorn has been through a room with a vacuum, each step you take on that floor releases the sweet scent of cotton candy!

This is a skilled and safety-conscious bunch of guys, so we aren’t going to claim that they’ve been wearing the masks the whole time, but they also clearly know how to win our hearts and make themselves stand out from the competition.

Celebrating 30 Years at Archie McPhee

Archie McPhee has been keeping Seattle Strange since 1983. Time flies when you’re having fun and we’re about to celebrate our 30th anniversary and we’d like you to join us.

Join us on Saturday, July 13th from noon to 4pm as we celebrate 30 years of fun and frivolity. Our brand new attraction, the Penny Periscope, will be unveiled at 12 o’clock. Then the games (and winning of fabulous prizes) begin! But that’s not all. There will also be performances by the band Fez Monkey and photo ops with the Cap’n Archie wooden cutout. And don’t miss the official cake-cutting ceremony at 2 o’clock.

It’s going to be an unforgettable day of Archie McPhee-style celebration and fun.
We hope you’ll join us for it.